the Curls

I saw this on a friend's blog and thought it was hilarious. If you've got curls like me, you can relate...

The curls, their hearts are full of rebellion.
They fight against the one who loves them.
Their minds are set on evil all the time.
Selah.

Woe to the curls.
Woe to the curls that disobey their mistresses.
Woe to the curls that do one thing in the morning and another thing in the noontime.
Woe to the curls that go limp in the evening.
Woe to the curls that freak out before times of public speaking.
Woe to the curls that look dumb for parties.

They shall be flattened with hot irons.
They shall be poisoned with every kind of gooey chemical.
They shall be cut off from the heads that grew them.
They shall be banished from the scalp, and the scalp shall remember their place no more.
Selah.

But the obedient hair shall be loved by its mistress.
It will dwell on the scalp and grow long.
It will be dressed with lovely-smelling organic products.
It will be combed gently with boar-bristle brushes.
Surely, the obedient hair will prosper and the curly shall bow down at its roots.